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The weight of water is a diptych consisting of two analogue colour photographs, part of Monotropism, a bigger project in which I revisit my photographic practice in light of my very late autism diagnosis.

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When I was younger, I loved swimming in lakes and the sea. It brought me calm and intense sensory joy, but there was always a fear of what I couldn't see beneath me. Over the years, that fear has grown so strong that swimming in natural waters now terrifies me. As a child, I was frightened by the idea of supernatural things. Although I no longer believe in ghosts and such things, my fear of what might be hidden from view remains.

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The person in the photographs is my niece. I admire how fearlessly she approaches nature. In these images, her confidence in the water meets my own fascination and fear.

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In Monotropism, I return to photographs taken over many years, asking what has captured my attention, what I have become absorbed in, and what I have repeatedly returned to. Water surfaces, with or without people, are among these recurring subjects.

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Drawing on the theory of monotropism, I explore how my sensory experiences and patterns of attention may have shaped my photographic practice. Photography allows me to immerse myself in what fascinates me, while creating a sense of order in a world that can feel chaotic.